October 21, 2011

an open letter to Portland Brew, maker of the best chocolate chip cookie I've ever had

Dear brilliant person(s) at Portland Brew,

So there's this cookie.  You know the one.  It's your chocolate chip cookie and it's the best I've ever had.  It's the size of a small plate, yet it's never quite enough.  I'm sad when it's gone.  It's crispy and caramelized and barely salty and perfectly sweet.  The chocolate-chip-to-cookie ratio is spot on.  The edges have a sort of ripple effect that I like to imagine are waves of butter & love. I'm not the only one who thinks so, you know.  I've told lots of folks about this cookie in hopes that it will rise to fame and be readily available to me at all times.  But that's not the way this cookie operates.  It has to be freshly made.  No day old cookie will do.  However, sometimes I need this cookie, like, immediately.  I don't make it to your store(s) often enough.  I know that's my problem, not yours.  I should and will visit more often. 

You owe me nothing, I realize.  You've already given me a great gift: the best chocolate chip cookie in the history of the world.  But if you would be so kind as to share the secret recipe of the cookie, I'd be forever grateful.  I'd sign infinite confidentiality waivers agreeing never to share your cookie secrets, for the chance to bake this cookie myself.  I've tried many times to recreate it using a variety of tactics, ingredients (do you know how much cash I've dropped on butter?) and forms of prayer.  I've come close, but never have I been able to match your level of cookie brilliance. I've made other pleas in the past, yet still, ye makers of the finest cookie, you remain mysterious (wo)men behind the curtain.  I've tried to coerce the barista with no luck.  I've asked local publications to ask for me.  I've even tried this.

For those who haven't yet tasted the cookie, don't let my poor photography fool you.  This is a serious cookie.  If you have indeed had one before, here's my virtual nod of acknowledgement.  We've been there.  We know.

So there you have it.  My heartfelt plea for a cookie recipe.  I wrote this while eating one.  There are crumbs on my keyboard and a chocolate smudge on the "e" character. 

chocolate chip cookie devotee


  1. Amen. I've heard rumor they use plugra butter. Not sure if that's the secret, but damn, they're perfect.

  2. Did I ever tell you that the owner of Portland Brew used to play bass in my band?

    And if a further machination of mine comes to pass, we'll have even another avenue to illumination. Call me next week and we'll plot.

    Always the connector.

  3. It's really great to know CeeElCee.

  4. I went to get this cookie after your post. It's pretty damn near perfect for me.

  5. I hope they give the recipe up to you- A great recipe should never be "owned"-